So, I’m about halfway through a bottle of Shiraz, so obviously I need to post something online. That sounds smart.

Yes, I drink while on Lexapro. Shut up.

My husband and I fought today. Well, we did what counts as a fight after a decade of marriage. We said a few things with attitude, and then sat silently for several minutes before apologizing.

You see, he has to pass a pretty in-depth test to transition from trainee to full-time employee at his job. This is his first real civilian career. The past 8 years were under military contract, so this test is very important to him. It is the first time our livelihood doesn’t fall under the gracious umbrella of the Army’s protection. He decided to go to a little study group with his peers.

Normally, I wouldn’t mind. As long as he’s not drinking and driving, he’s pretty much free to do as he pleases. I don’t like getting out late, so picking him up drunk isn’t on my list of things to do. I would probably make him stay the night with a friend as opposed to dragging these kids out to pick him up drunk. I trust him, though, and drinking has never been an issue, so whatever.

Except today. Today sucked. I’m on the brink mentally, I have a pretty important medical exam tomorrow, I’ve spent the entire day cleaning just for the house to be a mess again after dinner, I’m exhausted, I ran errands for him earlier, and the children have fought each other all day long. I need a respite from children. Just an hour or so. I’m losing my mind.

I got upset he spent the entire day out. He comes home from work late, spends his entire 15 minutes at home in the bathroom, (how do men poop so much???) and then rushes out to the study group where they spend three hours. By the time he comes home, it’s bedtime and I’m cranky.

I’m awake now. Decompressing with a bottle of wine and my phone. I window shopped on Amazon, I googled some questions I had, I browsed social media. I am just having a little me time in the quiet of post-bedtime. Will I regret it tomorrow? Absolutely! Is it still worth it? Absolutely!

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so any time that I spend for myself is one-hundred percent worth it! If I’m tired tomorrow, I’ll just have an extra cup of coffee and do a little less around the house. Maybe I’ll get a nap when the kids nap! If I didn’t take this time to myself tonight, I would wake up with today’s stress still on my shoulders.

In other news, I have a weird desire to send Ben Bishop a present. I’m super sympathetic. Some would say empath. Either way, he got taken out of a game last week, and I’ve felt horrible for him. He’s better than he’s been playing this year. If you’re reading, Bish, we love you! Bi